dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
