Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
