New invention idea: vibrating tampons
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
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