By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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