Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
