I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
