mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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