I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
