i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
