Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
