It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize