But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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