think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
