ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
