I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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