Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Randomize
