I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
