I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
being pregnant is like rehab
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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