his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize