Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
He better not be in your backpack
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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