I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Randomize