I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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