I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize
