so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
