You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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