found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
