The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
