So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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