She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
