put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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