i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
