Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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