you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
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