All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
