Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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