your thong is hanging out like whoa
butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
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