I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
We are two peas in an std pod
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize