Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
The air was thick with penises
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
