Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
