There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
