I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
