I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
