with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
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im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
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meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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