$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
