It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
