I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
