Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
