I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
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