It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
