Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
