I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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