I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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