I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
