And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I am naked and annoyed.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
