We're facebook friends in real life
He is an equal opportunity slut.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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