He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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