i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
How's work?
Spinning.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
