I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I just sucked dick on a ferry
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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