were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Randomize
