im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
