i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
she pinky promised me she was 18
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
