If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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