The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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