I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
