the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
