He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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