the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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