You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
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